the little things just kill me sometimes.

© 2011-06-18 Andrew Wilcox. This isn't official or company-like at all.

When I was growing up all I wanted to be was a software developer. Whom I wanted to work for, and what exactly 'developer' meant, changed fairly regularly. At around 14 I finally decided all companies suck; hell, I can write a kernel and do things better than these companies and I'm only 14!

So, my dream was to run my own software firm and be the lead dev. That is exactly what I am doing and it is from this endeavour that you are likely reading this (if this URL ends in .wilcox-tech.com, it is). Is it everything I thought it would be?

I am writing this after being awake for 19 hours. Xcode is open and I need to get back to it to fix the last bugs before we ship actual software. I am listening to ambient dance music and slept 3 hours for the past few days.

Contrary to what you would think, and I know I'm a crazy one, I'm loving this. I set my own hours, even if they are crazy and it's 2:30am. I am my own boss and I'm working on software that I BELIEVE IN. That is the very definition of a career that one will find success and happiness in.

But there is one thing. The little things. Those tiny insignificant details that you don't think of when you are dreaming. I'm running a company, sure — but we're a startup and can barely stay on our own legs. I expected a bit more initial income. Don't get me wrong; I understand that all income requires investment (in this case, mainly that of time). But it just seems very&ellip; lopsided.

I am a software developer leading my own life and being my own boss.

I just hope I have food on the table next month.


as a footnote I would like to just say this; this is NOT in any way meant to detract from the amazing feeling of working for yourself. if you have the managerial experience to do it, and the will (startup capital and VCs don't hurt either), please consider starting your own business too. it doesn't have to be about software, it can be whatever you are passionate about. these are ramblings from an unstable man at 3am, so this was more of a rant than anything. follow your dreams and reach for the stars – dreams are what make the world go 'round.