I'm so glad I finally got my mum to upgrade to Windows Vista. I'm even more glad she likes it; at least this isn't like That Time.™
The time that I lost the right to touch anything electronic that is hers.
It all started in the year 2002. This was back when I liked to hack on computers for the sake of hacking on computers. It was fun and a great way to pass time. And one day, I decided I wanted to be able to print to my mum's printer via Ethernet. This doesn't seem like such a task, especially when I am Super Admin and "I know what I doing".
So, first thing first: figure out how one is to share a network printer from Windows to Red Hat Linux. I find very interesting things online about how modern Windows (2000 and XP) have Internet Printer Daemons that are "nearly CUPS native". This sounds like a dream, so I figure, I already have a computer here running Windows 2000 (I kept it around for testing and the occasional game), so I can share the printer from Mum's Windows 98 box to the Win2k box, and then use that to share to CUPS. I spent the next two days trying to get the Windows 2000 computer to print. It never does. "Okay", I tell myself, "I just need to stop trying to be the middle man and use something more suited to the task". I had heard Good Things™ about Active Directory and how centralised things like computers and logins and — hurray! — printers(!) become when you Unify In LDAP.
For those of you keeping track at home. Win98: 1. Me: 0.
I decide to "Upgrade" my Windows 2000 Professional computer to Windows 2000 Server. I had an MSDN subscription at this time, the OS level, so I had a copy of all the different Windows versions. But this is a no go. It complains that you can't upgrade a workstation to a server, you have to do it clean. I go to my spares box and pull out a 10 gig Quantum disk, and install Windows 2000 Server to that. Now to set up Active Directory. I spend the next 4 days trying to get Windows 98 joined to the domain. It never does.
Win98: 2. Me: 0.
Okay, that's it. Enough dicking around with my boxen. It's time to upgrade this old POS from Win98 to something more modern, because that's the whole idea in the first place. Insert Windows 2000 CD, reboot. Sorry, you can't upgrade while booting the CD. Try doing this from inside Win98. Eject, reboot. Boot Win98. Mum comes in and asks "what are you doing with my computer?" I answer that I am "installing an update to make network printing possible".
Mum: And just what kind of update is this?
Me: Uh, it's Windows 2000.
Mum: I doubt that'll run my old DOS apps.
Me: But printerrrrrrr...!
Mum: Go ahead and install it, just as long as you can roll it
back if I don't like it.
Me: Of course! *install*
"Of course". Why did I ever say those two words. Why didn't I at least save a disk image. Or something.
The power went out about half way through the install and sent the entire thing to crap. When I say "entire thing" I mean "registry" and when I say "crap" I mean "permanently hosed". Windows 98 wasn't done mocking me yet, though. Insert Windows 2000 disk, hope that it will let me do a clean install and not format the disk, reboot. Sorry, you can't upgrade while booting the CD.
Win98: 4. Me: 0.
I decided to put a second hard disk in THIS computer, and install NT 4 Workstation on it to upgrade it to Windows 2000. I'm not entirely sure why I didn't just install Win2000 clean on this second disk, now, but I remember I had a good reason for wanting to do an upgrade install. It could have been something about saving the Program Files directory or something, I really don't remember now. Anyway, fast forward two days. I finally get it installed. Now, to share the printer.
Wait. There are no printers listed. Why...why aren't there any printers listed? Oh freak, it can't possibly be. Go to HP's unhelpful help site, click drivers. Enter printer model name. "Sorry, this printer model is discontinued. Drivers for Windows 2000/XP are not available".
Win98: 5. Me: 0.
Fast forward another week, and I just get Windows 98 reinstalled on mum's computer with all her apps the way they were and everything all nice and pristine again. And she calls me into her room, and says:
Now Andrew, I love you, and I know you were just trying to make our lives easier. But next time you want to print something, just put it on a freaking floppy disk. And don't ever touch another one of my computers as long as you live.
Win98: 6. Me: 0.